To Shower Or Not To Shower, That Is The Question

I was recently flipping through my daughter’s First-Year scrapbook – a truly sentimental gift handmade by my mother-in-law. The book opens with a few pages devoted to baby showers friends and relatives held for me during my pregnancy. Scenes of smiling faces, adorable onesies, mounds of diapers, smiling grandmothers-to-be, and me – grinning from ear to ear in every picture, with just a hint of uncertainty and mild trepidation thrown in for good measure.

I look forward to the day when I can share these pictures with my daughter – the little person no one had yet met that was nonetheless being celebrated and eagerly awaited by so many.

As I flipped through the rest of the book, the thought occurred to me – “What will my second daughter think? Surely she will come across this book and then wonder why her albums have no party pictures.”

Which brings us to the delicate matter of second and subsequent baby showers. In terms of etiquette, what’s the proper way to handle? Is it appropriate to have one? How do you respond to people who ask if you are having one? It’s not as if you can host one for yourself! Because that’s just tacky!

At the start of my third trimester, my sister offered to host one for me. I gave it some thought, and of course scoured the web for moms who had similar insecurities about it. I found many responses that echoed the feelings I had. For example:

“I firmly believe in a shower for every child. A shower is more about celebrating the new life coming than it is about gifts. It doesn't seem right that the first child is the only one that has pictures of their loved ones gathered together to celebrate them before they are born. Have a get together for her. It doesn't have to be anything elaborate.”
– B, from http://www.mamasource.com/article/second-baby-shower-6958#response_1.

And, as luck would have it, Emily Post seems to think the same, to a degree:
“It is all right to have a baby shower for a second or third baby, as long as the guest list is comprised of guests who did not attend a shower for the first (and/or second) baby, with the exception of close friends and family members who would be upset not to be there.”

So, I’m letting my sister do her thing, and have invited a new group of friends that weren’t around the first time, as well as close family. I am going to enjoy every minute of it. I also hope that it will make the situation a bit more real for my first-born, who seems excited about becoming a big sister.

I’ll keep you posted!

Resolutions For Working Moms

This blog originally appeared on AtlantaWomanMag.com.

kay, okay. I know there are tons of blogs out there detailing everyone's thoughts on New Year's resolutions. Some people abhor them; some people love them. Very few people follow through with them, myself included.

Joanna Zucker at Mommy Track'd - the working mother's guide to managed chaos - has some really great resolutions. Check them out here: http://www.mommytrackd.com/new-year-resolution-working-mom

They all make sense to me. I actually have already achieved No. 2 (take a solo vacation) from her list, and it was one of the best Christmas presents I could have ever given myself. Just a quick trip to visit a cousin at the beach - I came home refreshed and relaxed, and so missing my family!

Katherine Lewis, a working mom blogger on About.com, has some very admirable goals:
1. I will work out every weekday during my lunch hour.
2. I will have a date with my husband each week. We will have a conversation unrelated to the home or kids each day -- even if it's only 10 minutes long.
3. I will keep only healthy lunches in the fridge by my office.
4. No snacking after 7 p.m. and no eating the kids' leftovers!
5. I will spend one-on-one time with each child at least once a month.

I especially can relate to No. 2, but there is no way I could ever manage No. 4!

This year, I've decided to make a few resolutions I know I'll be able to handle. In fact, it's guaranteed. And, by putting it up in the blogosphere for all to read, I'm holding myself accountable to you, my devoted readers.

Here goes:

1. Gain five pounds.
Ha! This will be soooo easy. As I am halfway through my second pregnancy, it is guaranteed that I will gain at least this much weight by my due date. In fact, I may just go the extra mile and gain one or two more. Those new milkshakes at Chick-fil-A are just the thing to help me do it! Yum. I'll have to figure out how to balance my weight-gain goal with my trips to the gym. Where there's a will, there's a weigh.

2. Never spend more than $20 during a trip to Targé.
Target is my favorite store. And I can't seem to ever spend less than $50 to $100 when I go there. It's become a problem, let me tell you. Even shopping the clearance racks, I'm somehow able to rack up purchases that end up being way over the budget I originally set for myself. Well, no more! This rule will be easy to adhere to as the "economy" has forced me to have much less spending money than usual. In fact, it might even be hard for me to reach the $20 limit. Now, whether I spend that on pull-ups for my toddler or a pair of Isaac Mizrahi flats is still up for debate. (Editor's Note: Since writing this, I've already blown my budget - but in my defense, it was spent on hardware and organization for a playroom I'm creating for the kids.)

3. Spend more quality time with the kids.
Like Katherine's No. 5 above, I can't wait to get started on this. As a working mom, I only wish I could spend more time with my daughter. I must admit, I am able to spend more time with her than other working moms I know, as I am able to work from home a bit during the week. More quality time is guaranteed when maternity leave comes around this summer. I plan to spend at least 12 wonderful weeks with my newly enlarged family. Granted, they will be pretty sleepless weeks, but at least I'l l be able to spend them at the beach if I so choose.

Need some help setting your goals for the New Year? Why not try Goal Composer future plan and goal-setting software. For just under $20, you can install software that will
• Create multiple plans for yourself, your business, and family members
• Create and write down your Vision and Mission Statements, Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats, Wants and Needs
• Write down your Lifetime Goals
• View, Print and Save your Future Plan
• Activate recurring goal reminders!

Yes, this is for real. I am not making this up. For those of you that don't have an extra $20 for something like this, I'd suggest getting a good, old-fashioned notebook!