Two Much Fun

Baking a Pegasus Rainbow Cake

2010-02-08T22:14:00.000-05:00

Dorothy recently celebrated her fourth birthday. In the weeks leading up to it, I asked her what kind of cake she would like. First it was "pegasus cake." Then it was "pegasus rainbow cake." Then it was "pegasus rainbow dora polk dot cake." I soon learned to stop asking.

Well, Publix and Kroger don't make a pegasus rainbow cake, so I did the next best thing and googled it. Actually, I googled unicorn rainbow cake, figuring unicorns are more prevalent. The first result, entitled "Rainbown Cakes and Unicorns," from A Merrier World, was just what I was looking for.

The blog's recipe was a bit too involved for my taste - it called for baking the cake from scratch and using some sort of fancy fondant paste dyes. So I simply whipped up a boxed yellow cake mix, separated the mix into four bowls, and dyed each bowl a different color using neon color food dye found at Publix. I then poured each bowl into a cake round, one on top of the other, resulting in the picture below. Then I baked according to the box's directions.

Once out of the oven, I frosted the cake and decorated with Disney Princess sprinkles and a Pegasus centerpiece we bought at Toys r Us. You can tell from the picture below that it was a big hit.

And while the cake went too fast for me to take pictures of after it was cut into, it came out quite similarly to A Merrier World's photo:

Photo courtesy of A Merrier World

My only regret is that I split up the batter in order to make a two-layer cake. I should have stuck with one layer so that the layers of color would have been thicker.

Twitter? What's A Twitter?

2009-12-05T21:34:00.000-05:00

Thinking about jumping in to the Twitterverse? A friend of mine - the Atlanta Movies Examiner - was contemplating the same thing, and asked me for advice. The following is a synopsis of my advice and follow up comments.

1. Tweet only information that would be of use to other people. Nobody really cares what you are having for breakfast, lunch or dinner. I usually tweet about my latest blog posts, kid-friendly activities I find out about, general news, funny tidbits. I'll also send out a tweet about my experience with a particular vendor say, if I had a really great experience at a certain store, or a particular associate was really helpful. People also tweet about the bad experiences they have with anything flights, traffic, products, customer service. They'll often follow their tweet with FAIL.

2. 140 characters really limits you, especially if you have a long Examiner.com link you want to insert. I use link shorteners to circumvent this. My favorite is bit.ly. It provides easy to understand analytics as well.

3. To try and increase clicks to my blog, or to @TextileWorldMag news stories, I¹ll try and tie my tweet into a trending topic (you'll see these on the right hand of your Twitter page), or an item of interest in the news, the latest magazine you¹ve read a general nugget of news or pop culture information that everyone knows about. It's all about synergy.

4. If you¹re really into personal branding, use your name as your Twitter handle. I use @SmyrnaGirl, which I kinda regret cause it doesn't sync up with my LinkedIn pages or bylines.

5. I use the favorites feature (click the star to the right of a tweet and it will be added to your Favorites) to save tweets that I'll get around to reading later. I use this mainly as a repository for links to how-to articles about Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook. And the occasional SNL or Late Night sketch video!

6. Some of my favorite people I follow - this list includes those that tweet helpful information about technology and business, celebrities, and random people that are interesting:

@Broslife
@ActuallyNPH
@snapfishbyhp
@shitmydadsays
@MoRocca
@SeanENelson - LinkedIn expert
@ATL_Joblist
@KrogerDeals
@cobbcountygovt
@daddyclay - from DadLabs, great, funny parenting website
@WholeRecipes
@JennyDeVaughn - great social media tips
@victoriadunmire - great social media tips
@atlantabench

The Follow Up

1) Re: #4, would you recommend using "Atlanta Movies Examiner" or something else as my Twitter handle? (Presumably if I do the latter, it won't make as much sense for me to tweet about non-film-related topics or articles I've written about.)
I'd see what other Examiners are doing. If you want to strictly tweet about film-related topics, you might want to stick with something like ATLMoviesExaminer, though Twitter only allows you 15 characters.

2) Did/do you have a strategy for building up your list of followers?
No, I didn't have a strategy. There are several tools out there that people use to automatically follow people who use certain keywords in their tweets. I notice I get a surge in followers for TW right after I tweet about sustainability, or recycling. Or You'll notice people's tweets mentioning "You can get 100 followers a day. Click this link to find out how." But I feel this kind of defeats the whole purpose of Twitter, which is to foster communication that will hopefully lead to real-world relationships.

With TW and Billian's, I am going about it kind of under the radar. Most of my TW tweets point to TW content, or to our advertisers events/information.

Billian's I foresee being more synergistic as soon as I can get everything up and running. With that account I plant to tweet about our latest products, updates, white papers, etc., as well as industry news. Overall I hope to create synergy between the BHD website, and our pages on LinkedIn and Facebook.

Do you have Facebook or LinkedIn accounts? If you put #in or #fb at the end of your tweets, they will show up on your LinkedIn and FB pages.

3) How much time, if any, do you spend tweeting other people's articles, etc. as part of a strategy to encourage them to tweet about you?
If I think it's of value I'll retweet it. If it's someone I know, I'll retweet it.

Williams, West, Wilson, WTH?

2009-10-02T11:48:00.004-04:00

I came across an interesting tweet from @davesliz (aka “mom”) a few weeks ago:
"West, Williams, Wilson: 3 public names who lost their manners. This is what I'm up against w/my kindergartners!"

Now, I don’t want to beat a dead horse, but her remark struck a chord with me. How are her kindergarteners supposed to learn good manners if they have no one to look up to?

I know, of course, that children should learn their manners from parents and family members – not celebrities, and certainly not celebrities like Kanye West! (Who knows how many people he has put out of work because he felt the need to take a break from touring so that he can take some time for personal reflection.)

But what about people like Serena Williams – a woman who has certainly become a role model for young women everywhere; and Rep. Joe Wilson, a man whose profession involves representing the wishes of other people? I wonder how many of his constituents approved of the way he so blatantly expressed his disapproval with the leader of our country?

Are these the types of actions that people in the public eye think acceptable? What am I supposed to say to my three year old the next time we’re watching a tennis match and Serena starts shouting obscenities at the line judge, or a politician makes a derogatory remark during a presidential address? (I’m not worried about MTV exposure, as we don’t have cable, and she can’t work YouTube yet.)

Have our manners become so lax that such rudeness is the norm, trendy even?

As Sandy Banks of the L.A. Times asked in a recent column, “What happened to their manners?” She pointed out that for these three, and countless others, “Rules don't matter, other people's feelings don't matter, respect for institutions doesn't matter. . . . Because it really is all about me.”

Banks’ colleague, Meghan Daum, said in a recent column that three examples equals a trend, and the “trifecta du jour is rudeness. Everyone's doing it.” But she goes on to add that “Amid the rude and uncivilized … are plenty of people who are polite and courteous. At any given time all over the world, folks are helping their neighbors, showing kindness to strangers and refraining from throwing their shoes at world leaders. So why isn't that a trend?”

Good question.

Plan the Perfect Preschool Halloween Party

2009-09-22T13:47:00.004-04:00

Tips for busy moms and dads who have taken on their preschooler's Halloween party duties

Labor Day has come and gone, and that means it’s time to think about Halloween! Don't let the prospect of planning your preschooler's Halloween party fill you with fright. As a full-time working mother of a preschooler (and an infant), I can sympathize with moms (and dads) who sign up to take on the Halloween preschool party, but have little time to devote to coming up with the cutest and most creative games, costumes, treats, etc. So to make our lives easier, I’ve scoured the web for preschool Halloween party ideas that won’t cost you an arm and a leg, and will hopefully leave you with time to spare.

The parties at my daughter’s preschool are very low-key affairs. They usually consist of holiday-themed snacks, a craft and maybe a game if time – or attention spans – permit.

Click on a craft, snack, favor or game to jump straight to the individual details.

Crafts

Pumpkin painting

Footprint Ghosts

Paper Bag Pumpkins

Hand Print Spiders

Halloween Bracelets

Snacks

Monster or Witch's Hands

Wicked Witch Cupcakes

Favors

Lollipop Ghost

Bat and Moon Treat bags

Games

Scavenger hunt

Musical chairs

Pin the Grin on the Pumpkin

"Ghost Ghost Boo!" This is a fun variation of " Duck Duck Goose."

Pumpkin painting (A great activity to do at the beginning of the party)

You’ll need:

One pumpkin per student – make sure they are big enough to allow for broad brush strokes!

Washable paints

Paint brushes

Aid each child in painting her pumpkin. Set aside to dry. Cover with plastic bag to take home.

Pin the Grin on the Pumpkin

You’ll need:

Large pumpkin with stem, nose and eyes painted on posterboard.

Separate wide toothy grin for the pumpkin.

Hook and loop velcro

Halloween-themed mask

Attach the posterboard pumpkin to the wall at a kid-friendly height.

Use a strip of hook and loop velcro on the back of the grin and on the pumpkin where the grin will go.

Cover each child's face with mask, put the grin in their hands and spin them a couple of times.

Aim them toward the pumpkin to put the grin on him.

Halloween Bracelets

You’ll need:

Orange, black, white and/or black beads – look for Halloween shapes. Make sure holes are big enough for kids to string through.

Similar colored pipe cleaners

Cut pipe cleaners to fit little wrists.

Let kids string beads on pipe cleaners.

Twist to close off.

Family-Friendly Getaways: Pensacola Beach

2009-07-06T16:33:00.017-04:00

Browsing through Mamapedia the other day, I came across a number of queries regarding beacg getaways, particularly those appropriate for families with infants and toddlers.

I’ll let you in on a little secret. There is a beach in the panhandle of Florida that easily ranks #1 at the top of my family-friendly getaways list. And I’ve got experience with beaches. Been to Tortola in the British Virgin Islands (perfect for a second honeymoon), Brighton, England (too rocky), and the usual suspects – Myrtle Beach, Charleston and Jacksonville (not as big a fan of the Atlantic as I am of the Gulf).

Dorothy and Rich brave the waves at Pensacola Beach.

Pensacola Beach is perched at the top of my list for a number of reasons. It’s nice and quiet. There’s plenty to do, but there’s no “strip” like you find in Panama City. Sugar-white sand makes the beach incredibly beautiful and feet friendly.

It’s affordable. I’m not saying you’ll save money by vacationing here, but it’s much more cost-effective than comparative locales nearby. For instance, you can save a bit of money by staying at a hotel/motel in town rather than right on the beach. You’ll have to drive a bit further and pay a $1 toll to get to the beach, but you’ll save some cash and have the option of seeing the sights in town, such as the downtown Seville Square area, which offers a number of boutiques, restaurants and outdoor concerts.

Staying shady underneath the pier

Pensacola Beach actually offers two swimming/sun bathing options – the beach on the Gulf side and the calmer beach on the bay side. If you want waves and crystal clear water, head to the Gulf side. The public, life-guarded area of the beach offers a pier, which is perfect for setting up under if you want some shade. If you want calm waters (perfect for little ones) and no chance of a rip tide, head for the bay, where life guards also keep careful watch, as well as plenty of accessible restrooms, picnic tables and nearby parking. The bay side is located right next to the Quietwater Beach boardwalk, which offers a ton of restaurants and shops.

Enjoying the bay's calm waters

Great seafood abounds at family-friendly establishments at the beach such as Flounder’s and Peg Leg Pete’s, which both have playgrounds amidst their tables. The Marina Oyster Barn in town on Bayou Texar has been the first dinner stop for my family for years (ask for Dale, he’ll show you a great time!) because of its good food and friendly service. Jerry’s is also a great choice if you’re in the mood for burgers and fries at reasonable prices. Skopelo's is another great family dining spot, but a bit closer to fine dining in terms of price, food and service.

Great live music is always around, whether it be at the boardwalk, or at any number of establishments on the beach. Our favorite band is Wildwood, which performs regularly at the beach. Check them out for great covers that everyone of any age can dance to.

I could go on and on, but instead I’ll let you poke around the following websites to see for yourself why Pensacola should be your family’s next vacation destination.

www.visitpensacolabeach.com

www.pensapedia.com
A guide to the history of Pensacola

www.pnj.com
Pensacola News Journal

Baby Breakout!

2009-06-11T15:50:00.014-04:00

I have never considered myself to be vain. Of course I care about my looks - shouldn't we all? But I am an extremely low maintenance gal. I can count on one hand the number of times I've blown my hair dry in the past year. My thinking is, 'Why take the extra 15 minutes when I could be sleeping in?'

And it's the same for my kids. They must look clean and neat before stepping out of the house. My daughter's hair must be brushed and swept back, clothes clean, nose wiped. With a newborn in the house, it's a bit more challenging to make sure all of this is accomplished every time we run an errand, but I make the effort none the less.

Before the breakout

The toddler I've got a handle on. It's the 3-week-old that is giving me problems. She's got a terrible case of baby acne! I knew this was coming, as my oldest daughter suffered through it for a few weeks as well, but it doesn't make it any easier to bear.

And it has caused me to do some unusual things. I've avoided having any professional pictures taken until it clears up - which could take who knows how long! The timing is especially unfortunate, as I had hoped to give my husband a cute framed photo of the girls for Father's Day.

What's a mom to do? I know I'm supposed to wait it out, as it's especially common in breastfed babies, but in the interest of Father's Day, I've decided to cheat a bit and see if I can come up with a few remedies.

I've found a bevy of ideas on Mamapedia.com:
- Cetaphil
- hydrocortisone
- washing with a warmly soaked rag each night
- rubbing breastmilk on the affected areas
- ponds lotion
- ruling out allergies
- checking to see if it's actually eczema

But, of course, I'd like to do the right thing, so I checked in with the American Academy of Pediatrics, which has a handy dandy handout about newborn skin conditions, which you can download here. Turns out "Baby acne develops within the first three to four weeks due to hormonal changes that stimulate oil glands." The academy recommends washing your baby's face with a mild soap and warm water, and advises that the condition will usually clear up on its own. If it doesn't clear up within three months, consult your pediatrician.

So, I suppose I'll wait it out before trying any lotions or creams while my daughter is still so new. And I can always Photoshop the acne away just in time for Father's Day!

Is Pre-K A Good Idea?

2009-06-08T23:17:00.003-04:00

Though my oldest daughter is only 3, I’ve realized that it’s never too late to begin thinking about her education. After all, in just one year, when she’s four, I’ll have to begin researching pre-K programs, and then a year after that, what elementary school to place her in. Sure, I’ve got plenty of time to make a decision, which has led me to start quizzing all my mom friends who have been through the pre-k experience.

Do I move my daughter from her private preschool to a Georgia pre-k program, or leave her where she is?

Of course money plays a factor, at least in my family. Who wouldn’t want to take advantage of a state-funded school program that prepares a child for kindergarten? But on the other hand, do I really want my child to dive straight into a full-day of school, five days a week, at the tender age of four? She’ll be in school for at least 13 years after that (hopefully seven more if she decides to get her masters!), so my thinking is why push her into one more year? Sure, it would be nice to not have that monthly expense anymore, but would that be in the best interest of my daughter?

Some friends feel that any extra educational head start you can give your child should be taken advantage of – and even better if you aren’t required to fund it. Others feel they want to keep their children at home just a bit longer – putting them in preschool programs that are a bit less intense in terms of time commitment, or working with them at home.

Moms had some very helpful advice on the subject in response to a similar question posed by S.S. – Georgia Pre-K vs. Private Pre-K - on Mamapedia.com. Most seemed to concur that pre-k programs, whether public or private, have the same curriculum. Others expressed some dissatisfaction with programs held at daycare centers.

P.K. mentioned in her response that “My daughter is currently in the GA pre-k at Primrose of Woodstock and is doing wonderfully. The private class is no further along than her class, but the biggest difference is they wear private school clothes. My friend has her child in the private class and they cover the same items each week as the GA pre-K. We had to make the same decision when it was time for ours and we talked to the teachers and other parents and they didn't see a difference for the price.”

What do you think? If my daughter seems well prepared for elementary school by the time she's four, does she really need the pre-K experience? Let me know your thoughts. After all, as a mom, I can never get (or give) too much advice!

How Do Moms Get Back Into The Workforce?

2009-05-10T22:06:00.004-04:00

As a full time working mother about to go on maternity leave, many coworkers have been asking if I plan on returning to work. I would love to come back part-time, but that’s just not in the cards for our family at the moment. Like many families – most, I would even venture to say – we need every cent my paycheck brings in.

This is a dilemma that a lot of women face with each pregnancy. Sometimes, as in my case, it’s a pretty cut-and-dry decision based on bank accounts. Other times, it’s more of a gray area. Do you need the income? Can you get by without it? Do you want to give up your professional career entirely?

After my first child was born, I was able to come back after maternity leave part-time. I went in to the office two days a week, which was wonderful. I appreciated having the opportunity to put on work attire, be around other adults with similar professional goals and just get out of the house on my own for a while. Of course, two days of this was enough! Being able to spend the rest of the week with my family was the best part of the new arrangement.

Are you considering what your options are? If you’re maternity leave is about to end, do you go back part-time, full-time, at all?

If you do go back to work, will it be in the same field, or are you ready for a change, like C.S. from L.A., who asks on Mamapedia.com, “I am looking for ideas for a career transition. I have been working in the Real Estate Field for the last decade and would like to make a change due to the bad market and economy,”?

And if you’re a SAHM like A.R. from Chicago, how do you make yourself an attractive candidate despite a gap in your resume? A.R. writes on Mamapedia.com, “Hi, I am in need of Career advice. I have been a stay-at-home-mom for 5 years and I feel that I need to get up to date with my career. I don't know if I need to go back to school or just try to get a job with a 5 year gap in my resume.”

There are numerous resources are out there to help women who want to return to the workforce. Check out Ruth Mantell’s WSJ article, “You Can Land a Job – Even Now.”

Allison O’Kelly, CEO of MomCorps.com, offers SAHM tips on getting back into the workforce in this video.

And the website Comeback Moms is full of resources including Comeback Moms forums covering getting back into the workforce, working from home, help with resumes and working from home.

If you know of any additional resources out there, or have a story to share of your own transition, please leave your comments below. And good luck to those still in the process!

Why I Don't Like Parenting Other People's Kids

2009-05-05T13:36:00.004-04:00

Now that I've gotten three-plus years of parenting under my belt, I've come to the realization that I am not a big fan of strangers' kids. And I am even less a fan of parenting those children when their own parents are too lazy to do so.

Case in point: My mother-in-law, daughter and I were at the playground the other day, having a lovely time. Two little boys, brothers I assumed, were there as well. Where was their parent? Out in the parking lot talking on her cell phone! Not a huge deal, I admit, as the older brother seemed to be looking after the younger. It only really started to bother me when the younger brother - probably not much older than my own child - started to need help on the swing, and his older brother was nowhere to be found.

My mother-in-law, God bless her, helped him out while I gave his mom pointed stares. "Get off the phone! Come play with your kid!" I wanted to shout at her. But of course she wouldn't have been able to hear me in the midst of what was obviously a VERY important phone call. This continued on for a bit as the little guy needed assistance with other things. His mom just kept talking, even though she looked right at us as we helped her son.

I understand the need to sit down every once in awhile, take a break from running after your kids, but I just don't understand parents that don't engage at all with their kids in situations like this. Why take your kids somewhere so that you can ignore them?

What do you think? Let me know!

Help! I'm Addicted to Social Media!

2009-05-03T18:33:00.003-04:00

I realize the irony of writing about Internet addiction on the Web, and then disseminating that information via Web-based social media sites such as Twitter and MamaSourcce.com, as well as personal e-mail. But, that doesn’t mean I’m addicted!

I’ve come across quite a few articles dealing with the subject in the last week or two, which makes me think, could this really be a problem for some women? Apparently so.

One article I found recently on CNN.com dealing with social media addiction – the inability to disconnect from sites such as Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, etc. — even goes so far as to say that “[r]apid-fire TV news bulletins or getting updates via social-networking tools such as Twitter could numb our sense of morality and make us indifferent to human suffering, scientists say.” Yikes.

While the above statement might seem a tad harsh, I can see how too much time spent following Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore on Twitter might make us want to stay connected a bit longer than is healthy. And I can certainly see how working moms might find it hard to switch “off” once they get home from work, especially if they use social media tools at the office.

Elizabeth Cohen, in "Five Clues That You Are Addicted To Facebook," presents the case of Cynthia Newton (not her real name), a mom that works from home, and who uses Facebook for both professional and personal reasons.

"I'm an addict. I just get lost in Facebook," Newton said. "My daughter gets so PO'd at me, and really it is kind of pathetic. It's not something I'm particularly proud of. I just get so sucked in."

Newton says she spends about 20 hours a week on the social networking site, half the time for work -- she runs an online business -- and half just for fun. She's tried to cut down on her Facebook use but failed.

"I can go a whole day without Facebook," she said. "But I've never made it through an entire weekend. I've thought about going cold turkey, but that would make me so uncomfortable. I know I couldn't do it."

Funny, I was just considering starting a Facebook page – for strictly professional reasons of course. I figure as long as I can make time for dinners, laundry, cleaning, bath time, playing with the kids, etc., I should feel entitled to a few minutes on my favorite sites. Right? Tweet me at www.twitter.com/SmyrnaGirl and let me know what you think!

Moms, Get Financially Fit!

2009-04-22T13:53:00.005-04:00

Personal finances used to be a very private matter - something we rarely discussed in detail with anyone but our spouses and financial advisors. Today, however, personal finance is on everyone's minds – especially those of moms. With the country deep in recession and unemployment at record levels, moms are no longer thinking about long-term financial goals. Our minds are now on how do we feed a family of 4 on an ever-tighter budget? How do we tell our friends that going out to eat just isn’t an option this week? And how do we tell our kids that we’ve had to cancel the trip to Monkey Joe’s just to make sure we can fill our gas tanks this week?

So how can we avoid smashing open that piggy bank and cut back in the short-term, while still preparing for the long-term?

Galia Gichon, founder of Down-To-Earth Finance, offers these helpful tips in a recent JobsandMoms.com article:

1. Take a financial snapshot.

2. Deal with your debt and credit report head on.

3. Create a spending plan.

4. Make saving for retirement a priority.

5. Set up automatic savings.

6. Take a look at how you plan to save for your children’s college education.

7. Examine your insurance.

8. Change a money habit.

Citi Smith Barney Vice President of Wealth Management Lisa Boone and Clearbridge Advisors Product Specialist Director Caroline Smith brought the disparity between short-term and long-term financial planning into sharp focus at a recent Atlanta Woman Magazine event, Personal Finance 101. The overall theme was that just because times are tough doesn’t mean we should completely ignore the future.

This theme was summed up best by Smith's quote from Warren Buffet: "Bad news can be an investor's friend." The core message being that despite current volatility in the markets, there is still opportunity.

To take advantage of that opportunity, it is important to find a financial advisor you can trust, someone who can guide you through the process of identifying:

Your specific investment needs

How your assets are allocated

Your short-term and long-term goals and priorities, and

Investment strategies that will help you meet your goals.

When looking for an advisor, Boone recommends seeking out money managers with consistent track records who can take the emotion out of the market. Ask for referrals from friends, look for credentials such as financial planning certification, and understand how they get paid on your investments so that there are no conflicts of interest.

Personal finance doesn't have to be an overwhelming, confusing thing. There are plenty of resources out there for women looking to fully take control of their wealth:

AtlantaWomanMag.com's Financially Sound section

Newspapers - Boone recommends staying up on the latest investment events so you don't have to totally rely on other people's advice. Check out "Seven Questions to Ask When Picking a Financial Advisor," recently posted at WSJ.com.

Self-help books such as "A Woman's Guide to Financial Planning: The Seven Essential Ingredients for Your Best Financial Recipe," by Shak Hill, founder of Lantern Wealth Management LLC. (Yes, it's written by a man, but one who was inspired by his mother's financial hardship to write this book.)

Websites. Check out "You Can Find Easy Money Management" on CNN.com.

See how you stack up against other moms by taking the Top Money Wasters quiz at TheMomsBuzz.com. I discovered my biggest spending blind spot was spending too much on groceries. Someone please show me how to master the art of clipping coupons!

Counting Down To Maternity Leave

2009-04-18T22:15:00.006-04:00

The countdown has begun! Just about six weeks left until I start my second maternity leave. Needless to say, I’m counting down the days, and trying my best to prepare everyone and everything for my absence.

My checklist includes:
* Let my employer know the date I expect to stop working and when I expect to return
* Discuss with HR what my options are in terms of pay during maternity leave (if any), short-term disability payments available to me, how I will pay my insurance premiums during my leave
* Contact my insurance company representative – it’s a good idea to speak with a real, live person to find out if there are any forms to fill out before leave starts, how insurance deductibles and premiums will work as a result of labor and delivery, and how to add your new little one to an existing insurance policy
* Make a list of all my job duties, and meet with each person who will be taking those over so that the transition will be as smooth as possible.

But surely there are other surprises waiting for me – things I haven’t thought of? I decided to ask other mothers on MamaSource.com for advice in the hopes of making maternity leave every bit as relaxing as it can be – with a newborn and toddler, that is!

They didn’t let me down. Here are some of their suggestions:

* Ask for the maximum amount of time off that you can. Maybe more. You can always come back earlier (yeah, right!), but it's hard to ask for more time once you're out. – Susanna M.

* Find out which person will be your claim representative because they will be your point of contact for all things dealing with short-term disability. – Renee G.

* The day that you go into labor, have someone at your work notify HR so they know when to start your paperwork. If you have a certain number of days before short-term disability starts, they will start the clock right after you leave. – Renee G.

* Talk to your employer now about what you will need to pump when you return to work. And don't take "the employee bathroom" for an answer. – Susanna M.

* If you haven't found a day care, get on a list IMMEDIATELY! No one told my husband and I this, and we searched for MONTHS to find quality caregivers. – Renee G.

* Be sure to understand your company policy regarding maternity leave, short-term disability, the difference between FMLA and non-FMLA. I thought I understood the policy but when I had to go out early on bed rest things got complicated as to when the various types of leave started and stopped. – Mindy S.

I also created a list of questions for Lindy Harrison, my BCBS representative, and she gave me some invaluable tips on what to expect from the insurance side of things:

When should I expect the bill?
“Usually the first statement arrives a week after delivery stating the hospital filed with insurance. Bill statements start arriving about 30 days later.”

What kind of out-of-pocket expenses can I expect to incur during my hospital stay?
For those of you who plan on delivering at Northside:
“If you ask for a private room you will pay the difference between private versus non-private (this was around $40 three years ago). Keep in mind that all the rooms at Northside are now private. So, if you don’t ask for the private room and you get it, BCBS will pay the difference. We will have to appeal to have them cover it, but will win. So my advice is not to ask for it.”

And her final nuggets of advice:
“Don’t forget to send in the forms (so many parents get caught up in the birth of the child, they forget to send in insurance forms to cover the child.”

“Don’t pay any claim until you have an EOB that matches the payment due.”

And finally, here is a list of other resources I found useful. Because, as I learned the first time around, there’s nothing that makes a mom’s life easier than being organized!

Maternity Leave: The Basics
http://www.babycenter.com/0_maternity-leave-the-basics_449.bc

Preparing for Maternity Leave: Countdown
http://workplaceculture.suite101.com/article.cfm/preparing_for_maternity_leave

Prepare Early For Maternity Leave
http://career-advice.monster.com/in-the-office/Work-Life-Balance/Prepare-for-Maternity-Leave/article.aspx

Why Didn't Somebody Tell Me Potty Training Would Be This Frustrating!

2009-04-14T22:33:00.008-04:00

TMI Warning - If you don't feel like reading about tee tee, poo poo, bottoms, backsides and wiping techniques, then move along!

Little did I know when my mother-in-law so helpfully handed me Toilet Training In Less Than A Day of the ordeal me, my husband and my toddler would be in for over not just that next 24 hours, but the next six months (and counting). I've come to find out that potty training doesn't involve just the wee one (pun intended) still in diapers, but the entire family unit.

And, needless to say, none of us mastered the process in a day.

It's taken a good six months to get my daughter comfortable enough to use the potty by herself - and I'm talking just #1 here. We've gone through various stages - scared of the flushing noise, to needing assistance from anyone nearby, and finally to "I'm going to do it all by myself" but five seconds later my presence is requested. It's exhausting!

She is still having trouble with #2, and it's having a trickle-down effect, leaving me and my husband frustrated at having to wipe her backside, throw away unusable panties, and wash an inordinate amount of bottoms.

Here's how it goes, as my daughter likes to preface many of her statements these days:
She exhibits a few tell-tale signs that the time for a bm is drawing near: her eyes redden or water, she begins to run around the house, hides and/or becomes unusually quiet, or crosses her legs. Then we know it's time to strip off everything below the waist so that she will REALLY know she has to go. But often we miss the signs and don't get to her in time, and end up cleaning a poopy mess.

We've tried bribes of course, and taking things away like tv, trips to the playground and library, etc., but nothing seems to be getting through to her. And with a newborn expected in a matter of weeks, I really want to nip this in the bud ASAP!

Does anyone out there in the blogosphere care to share some wisdom with me about this? Many moms have shared advice on Mamapedia, and I'm hoping I can gather more. It would be much appreciated, by everyone in the family!

If you are also in the market for advice, I highly recommend this video from Dad Labs, called Potty Training Stinks. Hilarious!

Ready To Hire A Babysitter? Here's How

2009-04-12T21:33:00.009-04:00

Recently I was blessed to find myself sitting in a pedicure chair next to my best friend, chatting away while our feet were massaged by professionals – such a luxury! That experience was worth every penny, as, being almost eight months pregnant, getting to my toes with any sort of grace is no longer possible.

During our conversation, my friend asked when I first left my child with a babysitter. My husband and I, like my friend, are fortunate enough to have relatives close by with whom we feel completely comfortable leaving our daughter. We haven’t yet had to hire a babysitter that’s not a relative.

As our polish was applied, my friend and I further discussed the matter. How do you find a reliable, in-home babysitter?

I decided to do a bit of research, as I am thinking about hiring a neighborhood girl to come over and play with my daughter this summer while I’m at home tending to our newborn. What expectations should I have? What sort of qualifications do babysitters need to realistically have, especially when they are usually teenagers that live down the block?

Real Simple’s Jenny Rosenstrach offers invaluable tips in her article, “How To Prepare for a Babysitter.” It even includes a link to a babysitter-hiring checklist.

Moms on Mamapdedia.com also have great advice:

have a get-to-know you session with the prospective sitter and your child so that you can make sure they “click”
make it clear they are not to be on the cell phone while on the job
provide firm instructions on what to do if they can’t get your child to eat his meal or take a nap
ask for references and actually call them!
and don’t be afraid to take your time making a decision.

There are great resources for finding a babysitter online as well. Check out this video from Parents tv.

Do you have any tips? Please share them with me! I’ve got just a few months left to find someone reliable, affordable and fun!

To Shower Or Not To Shower, That Is The Question

2009-03-31T21:53:00.004-04:00

I was recently flipping through my daughter’s First-Year scrapbook – a truly sentimental gift handmade by my mother-in-law. The book opens with a few pages devoted to baby showers friends and relatives held for me during my pregnancy. Scenes of smiling faces, adorable onesies, mounds of diapers, smiling grandmothers-to-be, and me – grinning from ear to ear in every picture, with just a hint of uncertainty and mild trepidation thrown in for good measure.

I look forward to the day when I can share these pictures with my daughter – the little person no one had yet met that was nonetheless being celebrated and eagerly awaited by so many.

As I flipped through the rest of the book, the thought occurred to me – “What will my second daughter think? Surely she will come across this book and then wonder why her albums have no party pictures.”

Which brings us to the delicate matter of second and subsequent baby showers. In terms of etiquette, what’s the proper way to handle? Is it appropriate to have one? How do you respond to people who ask if you are having one? It’s not as if you can host one for yourself! Because that’s just tacky!

At the start of my third trimester, my sister offered to host one for me. I gave it some thought, and of course scoured the web for moms who had similar insecurities about it. I found many responses that echoed the feelings I had. For example:

“I firmly believe in a shower for every child. A shower is more about celebrating the new life coming than it is about gifts. It doesn't seem right that the first child is the only one that has pictures of their loved ones gathered together to celebrate them before they are born. Have a get together for her. It doesn't have to be anything elaborate.”
– B, from http://www.mamasource.com/article/second-baby-shower-6958#response_1.

And, as luck would have it, Emily Post seems to think the same, to a degree:
“It is all right to have a baby shower for a second or third baby, as long as the guest list is comprised of guests who did not attend a shower for the first (and/or second) baby, with the exception of close friends and family members who would be upset not to be there.”

So, I’m letting my sister do her thing, and have invited a new group of friends that weren’t around the first time, as well as close family. I am going to enjoy every minute of it. I also hope that it will make the situation a bit more real for my first-born, who seems excited about becoming a big sister.

I’ll keep you posted!

It's Time To Rethink Business Ethics

2009-03-17T23:05:00.002-04:00

This blog originally appeared on AtlantaWomanMag.com.

For anyone who has been following the financial tales of woe lately, one word seems to be at the heart of our nation's economic collapse. From subprime mortgages to unqualified borrowers, the collapse of huge banks and financial institutions, the Madoff Ponzi scheme that ruined many, and even reaching back to Enron, Tyco and Worldcom, "ethics" are now being called into question.

In response to the most recent monetary outrage - that of ailing, bailout-recipient AIG paying $165 million in bonuses to executives - CNN.com in a recent report cited President Obama as stating that "...the impropriety of the bonuses goes beyond economics. "It's about our fundamental values," he said.

"All across the country, there are people who are working hard and meeting their responsibilities every single day, without the benefit of government bailouts or multimillion-dollar bonuses. You've got a bunch of small-business people here who are struggling just to keep their credit line open. And all they ask is that everyone, from Main Street to Wall Street to Washington, play by the same rules. That is an ethic that we have to demand.""

It would seem that "ethics" has lost much of its meaning in much of the workplace.

Atlanta Woman chose to highlight this issue at its recent Ethics 101 event, inviting Dr. Elizabeth Kiss, president of Agnes Scott College, Debbie Sessions, partner and COO of Porter Keadle Moore, Accounting, and Lyn Turknett, principal of The Turknett Leadership Group, to engage attendees in candid discussions on workplace ethics, leadership and trust.

Dr. Kiss told the audience that the most effective way to establish a transparent code of ethics in the workplace is to first establish a core value set, and to then establish a culture of conversation about those values. She added that you must always be open to criticism, and show transparency when engaged in the decision-making process.

Turknett echoed her comments, adding that business ethics don't have to be an oxymoron. She iterated that the behavior of superiors most reflects employees' ethics in their respective organizations. In other words, you have to walk the walk if you expect people to follow your lead, which, as the media has led us to believe, is happening all too often in today's business world - but in the wrong way.

Sessions added that, in today's media savvy world, perhaps you should ask yourself when faced with an ethical dilemma, 'How would this decision come across if it were broadcast on the 6 o'clock news?' Or better yet, how would this decision come across if Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert pitched in their two cents?

Seems like a no-brainer, but the gray areas of ethical decision making seem to be far outweighing the black and white ones. As one AW audience member commented, perhaps it's time Atlanta Woman takes this conversation to Capitol Hill.

Whether You're A 10 Or A 2, Size Is A Weighty Issue

2009-03-10T22:55:00.000-04:00

This blog originally appeared on AtlantaWomanMag.com.

There have been a lot of comments in the past few weeks regarding " A Perfect 10," an article AW ran about Whitney Thompson, the first plus-sized model to win America's Next Top Model.

It is obvious that AW readers are in disbelief that a woman with Whitney's physique - tall, healthy and fit at an industry size 10 - should be labeled plus-size, especially when she is probably smaller than a large chunk of women today.

After reading the article, our reader Caroline King wrote: "I just about fell out of my chair when I read that a size 10 is a plus size! I am just under 6 feet tall and am very healthy, relatively fit (as much as a full-time working mother of 3 children can be). I wear a size 10 and am proud of it. It is absolutely WARPED that a size 10 is anything but NORMAL. I am thrilled that there is a model out there who is projecting a healthy attitude and body image to my daughters."

And it's not just women in Atlanta who feel this way. In the March issue of Vogue, Jeann Rybinski wrote to the editor: "Your magazine's glossy photographs of glitzy fashions fill me with both delight and despair. The delight is obvious; the despair is too, because, frankly, I couldn't get into the majority of those clothes with a set of burglar tools - and I am in good company. If you look around America, there are a lot of women who are older and shorter and weigh a bit more than your average model."

I have a feeling this issue won't ever truly go away, even if the CFDA tries to issue "guidelines" regarding designers employing models who attain healthy weights.

And as someone who has worn a size 12 down to a size 2, gone through the weighty ups and downs of two pregnancies, and been gently chastised for being too thin, I wonder how I'll explain all this to my daughters.

How do I make them feel comfortable enough in their own bodies to not strive for unrealistic body images? And on the flip side, how do I let them know that being naturally thin is nothing to be ashamed of? They will surely go through the same tall, stick-thin phase I went through as an adolescent (that was actually a nickname of mine - stick.) - a phase that, at the time, had just as much of a negative impact on my self-esteem as I'm sure being overweight would have.

So what's the answer? If you've got them, let me know by leaving a comment below.

Will Disney Follow Our Country's Lead?

2009-02-27T22:50:00.001-05:00

This blog originally appeared on AtlantaWomanMag.com.

n a recent trip to Toys R Us to do a bit of birthday shopping for my soon-to-be 3 year old, I spent time in one area - Disney princesses. My daughter absolutely adores anything to do with princesses - be it Sleeping Beauty/Aurora, the Little Mermaid, Jasmine, Belle, Cinderella, Snow White ... you get the idea. We're just now getting into these sorts of toys, and so it had never crossed my mind that there isn't one single African American "Princess" character. Granted, Jasmine is Middle Eastern, and Mulan and Pocahontas (who don't have dolls) Asian and Native American, respectively. But still, no doll that looks like the majority of the little girls in this country?

Surely if the nation can overwhelmingly elect an African American president, his daughters should expect a similar-looking Disney princess to be a part of their play dates. I'd certainly applaud the company if they modeled one on Michelle Obama, the chicest first lady to come along in years.

Come to find out, Disney does have just such a character in the works. The company announced in 2007 plans to introduce its first African American princess in a feature-length film set to debut in theaters at Christmas 2009. "The Frog Princess" (http://disney.go.com/disneypictures/princessandthefrog/), set in 1920s New Orleans, tells the story of a Princess Tania, and what I assume will be her search for a prince. Oprah Winfrey is even slated to voice one of the characters, according to imdb.com.

Controversy has swirled around the project. Disney changed a number of character details in response to accusations the story was playing to racial stereotypes. You can read people's comments about that here: http://www.whataboutourdaughters.com/2008/08/first-black-disney-princess-in-theaters-christmas-2009-trailer/

and here: http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/03/21/princess.emails/index.html?iref=newssearch
(The above link contains comments that don't reflect more recent script changes, such as the character's original name, Maddy.)

My daughter and I will certainly give the movie a chance when it comes out. And I'll definitely add a Princess Tania doll to my daughter's collection. If there's one thing Disney IS good at, it's taking my money!

V Day Is Almost Here!

2009-02-10T22:53:00.000-05:00

This blog originally appeared on AtlantaWomanMag.com.

t's been circled for weeks on my calendar in bright red pen - Valentine's Day is nearly upon us. What to do? Where to go? What to wear? Who will babysit? As a working mom, it's nice to have an official, designated day to go out and have some fun with my husband. Otherwise, date nights seem to take a backseat to everything else going on in family life.

I think it's a wonderful opportunity to tell the friends and family in your life how much you love and appreciate them. And now that my daughter is getting older, I'm going to enjoy the day even more as we make cards, bake cookies and eat way too much sugar!

Some families find it a great day to spend time together. A friend on Mamasource.com tells me she and her family often go to the movies - family-friendly of course - and enjoy the nearly empty theater and the relaxed feeling of not having to rush around for a babysitter and reservations.

A few friends have shared their favorite Valentine's Day ideas and experiences:

* A complimentary couples dance lesson at Fred Astaire Dance Studios

* The Westin Peachtree Plaza, and Dante's Down the Hatch on Peachtree - romantic, with great fondue

* A family-friendly trip to The Waffle House somewhere in town that offers tablecloth/jukebox style dining on Valentine's Day . Come to find out, a Waffle House in Johns Creek did just this last year: http://www.ajc.com/news/content/metro/stories/2008/02/13/buzz0213.html?cxntlid=inform_sr

* Staying in to cook dinner and watch a movie were mentioned by a few friends. A soon-to-be married couple I know takes this idea one step further. The guy cooks for the girl - he does the shopping, comes up with a menu totally new to both of them, cooks, and prepares the dining room. She doesn't see a thing until it's time to sit down and eat. They've been celebrating this way for years, and think it really cuts down on the stress associated with trying to get a reservation at a pricey restaurant.

* One of the sweetest treats was related to me by one of my daughter's preschool teachers: "One of the nicest things my husband ever did for me on Valentine's Day was to sneak into my classroom the night before and decorate it with balloons, streamers and hearts. I loved it, and the kids enjoyed it too. I'm pretty sure he followed up with a bouquet of my favorite yellow roses."

Need help finding a babysitter on the big day? Several readers have shared a few suggestions:

Ms. Lala's Treehouse in Marietta is offering drop-in childcare with special Valentine's Day activities from 3 to 10 pm.

Kids' Stay 'n Play (Roswell, Gwinnett and Dunwoody) also offers drop-in childcare.

And many area churches may also offer special nursery care that evening for a small fee.

Resolutions For Working Moms

2009-01-20T22:47:00.001-05:00

This blog originally appeared on AtlantaWomanMag.com.

kay, okay. I know there are tons of blogs out there detailing everyone's thoughts on New Year's resolutions. Some people abhor them; some people love them. Very few people follow through with them, myself included.

Joanna Zucker at Mommy Track'd - the working mother's guide to managed chaos - has some really great resolutions. Check them out here: http://www.mommytrackd.com/new-year-resolution-working-mom

They all make sense to me. I actually have already achieved No. 2 (take a solo vacation) from her list, and it was one of the best Christmas presents I could have ever given myself. Just a quick trip to visit a cousin at the beach - I came home refreshed and relaxed, and so missing my family!

Katherine Lewis, a working mom blogger on About.com, has some very admirable goals:
1. I will work out every weekday during my lunch hour.
2. I will have a date with my husband each week. We will have a conversation unrelated to the home or kids each day -- even if it's only 10 minutes long.
3. I will keep only healthy lunches in the fridge by my office.
4. No snacking after 7 p.m. and no eating the kids' leftovers!
5. I will spend one-on-one time with each child at least once a month.

I especially can relate to No. 2, but there is no way I could ever manage No. 4!

This year, I've decided to make a few resolutions I know I'll be able to handle. In fact, it's guaranteed. And, by putting it up in the blogosphere for all to read, I'm holding myself accountable to you, my devoted readers.

Here goes:

1. Gain five pounds.
Ha! This will be soooo easy. As I am halfway through my second pregnancy, it is guaranteed that I will gain at least this much weight by my due date. In fact, I may just go the extra mile and gain one or two more. Those new milkshakes at Chick-fil-A are just the thing to help me do it! Yum. I'll have to figure out how to balance my weight-gain goal with my trips to the gym. Where there's a will, there's a weigh.

2. Never spend more than $20 during a trip to Targé.
Target is my favorite store. And I can't seem to ever spend less than $50 to $100 when I go there. It's become a problem, let me tell you. Even shopping the clearance racks, I'm somehow able to rack up purchases that end up being way over the budget I originally set for myself. Well, no more! This rule will be easy to adhere to as the "economy" has forced me to have much less spending money than usual. In fact, it might even be hard for me to reach the $20 limit. Now, whether I spend that on pull-ups for my toddler or a pair of Isaac Mizrahi flats is still up for debate. (Editor's Note: Since writing this, I've already blown my budget - but in my defense, it was spent on hardware and organization for a playroom I'm creating for the kids.)

3. Spend more quality time with the kids.
Like Katherine's No. 5 above, I can't wait to get started on this. As a working mom, I only wish I could spend more time with my daughter. I must admit, I am able to spend more time with her than other working moms I know, as I am able to work from home a bit during the week. More quality time is guaranteed when maternity leave comes around this summer. I plan to spend at least 12 wonderful weeks with my newly enlarged family. Granted, they will be pretty sleepless weeks, but at least I'l l be able to spend them at the beach if I so choose.

Need some help setting your goals for the New Year? Why not try Goal Composer future plan and goal-setting software. For just under $20, you can install software that will
• Create multiple plans for yourself, your business, and family members
• Create and write down your Vision and Mission Statements, Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats, Wants and Needs
• Write down your Lifetime Goals
• View, Print and Save your Future Plan
• Activate recurring goal reminders!

Yes, this is for real. I am not making this up. For those of you that don't have an extra $20 for something like this, I'd suggest getting a good, old-fashioned notebook!

We're Officially In A Recession? Tell Me Something I Don't Know!

2008-12-02T23:02:00.001-05:00

This blog originally appeared on AtlantaWomanMag.com.

Slowdown. Unusual time. Difficult headwind. All terms used (by President Bush) to describe what we’v e all been trying not to think about – recession.

After hemming and hawing for almost a full year, The National Bureau of Economic Research has declared that not only are we in a current recession, but that we’ve been in one since December 2007! It’s so comforting to finally have someone speak the truth we’ve all been living with for the past six months or more. Now we’ll have no more pundits spout out phrases such as “recession-like conditions” when asked about the state of the nation’s economy.

I do realize that it takes organizations such as the bureau quite a while to make a call like this – what really makes me chuckle is that economists have been so loathe to use the term. It seemed to me that commentators on NPR and the like were almost afraid to use it for fear of sending yet another message of financial doom and gloom to the masses.

I find it mildly amusing, and perhaps strategically timed, that this announcement was made after Black Friday, which, according to various reports, was actually better than last year in terms of retail sales. Recession, schmession! Despite the fact that we are paying more for milk, more of us are getting laid off and unemployment benefits are at some of the highest levels ever, the economic state of the union can’t prevent us from camping out in front of Best Buy Thanksgiving night so that we can get our hands on a coveted $300 laptop. (I kid you not – my brother works there, and saw many tents pitched when his store opened its doors at the ungodly hour of 4 a.m.) Of course, this rush to buy may be attributed to the need to get the best deal possible, as it feels like we are all quickly running out of cash.

Needless to say, we are probably all in need of a good laugh.

I don’t know about you, but when I’m feeling down, I turn to the The Daily Show. Jon knows you may not have a Harvard MBA like President Bush, so he translates W's outlook into language we can all understand.

John Hodgman uses a time helmet (You know we’re in a recession if he can’t afford a time machine!) to see if we're currently in a recession and bats around economic semantics.

Decisions, Decisions

2008-10-30T22:41:00.003-04:00

This blog originally appeared on http://www.AtlantaWomanMag.com.

Bailout. Recession. Crash. Depression. Election. While these words do have some meaning to me, as a full-time working mother, their trickle-down effects are having far more of an immediate impact on my family than the headlines and sometimes confusing explanations of partisan pundits would have us try to believe. And this confusion has only resulted in more confusion and anxiety at the regular guy (aka Joe the Plumber) level.

I'm faced with gas prices that are prohibitive, forcing me to decide whether to make the hour-long trip to the grandparents, or conserve fuel so that I can definitely get to work next week. A gallon of milk upward of $5 or $6 - or more if, like me, you opt for organic. The impending gloom that my natural gas bill will bring as the weather gets cooler and our house gets warmer. And the overall fear that my bank - in which what's left of my savings is placed - will go out of business.

And during all this mess, I am supposed to figure out who I want to supposedly get us out of this mess? Fat chance. I've got dinner to assemble, laundry to do, preschool runs to make and a profession to keep up. I'm hoping that I'll have time to make an "educated decision" based on more than just the latest SNL skits with Tina Fey.

My husband, who is still not sure if he will vote, keeps asking how I am going to choose. I vaguely answer, "research," each time. But what, really, does this mean?

It means, go to the worldwide Web, of course! Since everything I've ever read on the Internet is true, I'll trust its resources to help me make an educated decision.

The Candidate Calculator on vajoe.com helps me to realize that Ralph Nader is the man for me - with Barack Obama running a distant third behind the Green Party's Cynthia McKinney. But wait, didn't Nader drop out of the race ages ago?

Online-tech-tips.com offers a number of sites to visit to help me make this important decision, since "This election will probably be one of the toughest for people to decide who to vote for because of the sheer number of candidates, especially the number of star power candidates like Barack Obama, Hilary Clinton, and Rudolph Giuliani." Obviously not the most updated of pages. But seriously, it does list a number of helpful sites such as:

* 2008 Presidential Election Candidates on the Issues
http://www.2decide.com/table.htm

* Project Vote Smart
http://www.votesmart.org

* Connect 2 Elect
http://www.connect2elect.com

And while some may be more up-to-date than others, they all offer helpful insight into the issues each candidate stands behind.

It's no secret that other moms are facing the same who to vote for dilemma. There is a lively discussion going on between Atlanta moms at MomsLikeMe.com. Issues of greatest importance seem to be taxes, health care and education.

I definitely have more research to do. Thank goodness for Google!

Just How Do You Tell Your Children You're Unemployed?

2008-10-28T22:58:00.001-04:00

This blog originally appeared on AtlantaWomanMag.com.

When it comes to the economy, lately it feels like nothing but a barrage of bad news. And because of this ominous reality, I feel this topic, issue No. 1 for many people, requires a blog post from me to you. In just about every industry I'm aware of, layoffs are happening left and right. And usually the first thing that comes to a working mom's mind is "How do I tell my family?" And more specifically, how do you communicate this news to children?

We all know that prolonged changes in a child's routine can stress them out. So, for the few weeks or months you are job-hunting, take your child's schedule into consideration as you plan how to get back on your feet. Revising resumes, scheduling and going on interviews, making follow up phone calls; these are activities necessary to re-employment, but ones that are out of the norm in your family's life. And as we all know, kids pick up on the littlest things - our moods, changes in our routine, etc. They will sense that something is different, and while spending more time with Mom is always a good thing, it will need some careful explanation in order to make your child feel safe and secure.

In a recent post on Kaboose.com, Scott Reeves relates this professional advice from Carolyn Spigel, a licensed clinical social worker and career coach at New York-based Partners in Human Resources International. "Children are watching how you handle the situation. To feel safe, children need to hear you say unemployment is something that happens to many people at one point or another in a career," she says. "Normalize the transition for them by helping them understand that unemployment is a temporary situation - not a major disaster or parental weakness. Children need to see you handle the situation with confidence. This will help them learn that they, too, will be able to manage life's challenges."

Cindy Krischer Goodman emphasized age-appropriate honesty when telling children what unemployment means for the family in a recent MomsMiami.com post: "Susan Dandes, a child psychologist on the faculty at the University of Miami, says kids worry most about how the loss of income affects them. She suggests talking openly and using age-appropriate language.

"Little ones are happier with basic information. They want to know that they are going to eat tonight.'' Older kids might require more information, she says. "You might want to talk about the economy and global issues, as well as how it affects your family.''

It seems the running theme here is honesty, with a touch of simplification if necessary, and a whopping dollop of confidence and optimism that your family will get through this situation.

If you're in need of a few pointers on how to commence your job search, check out the video above from DailyMotion.com. It's an interview featuring Maggie Mistal, a career coach who appears weekly on Martha Stewart Living Radio:

On a side note: In addition to the usual job sites, MomCorps.com, which places a big emphasis on work-life balance, offers a number of resources for working mothers including job listings, articles, blogs and a resource guide.

Just What Is A Real Housewife?

2008-10-17T21:33:00.002-04:00

This blog originally appeared on AtlantaWomanMag.com.

For the few of you, like me, who rely on bunny ears for your television programming, you may not have heard of Bravo's reality show "The Real Housewives of Atlanta." Following in the steps of The Real Housewives of Orange County and The Real Housewives of New York City, RHO of the ATL spotlights five women - none of whom live ITP, mind you - who have various roles as wife, mother, single mother, businesswoman, socialite and philanthropist, among others. Watch the first episode here.

One of the wives, DeShawn Snow - a resident of Alpharetta, wife, and mother to three boys - was recently featured in Atlanta Woman 's Up & Comers section for her work "helping young women to understand the importance of self-esteem and having goals" through the DeShawn Snow Foundation.

I wasn't really aware of the program until I heard about it on The Bert Show one morning - making my thrice-weekly trek from preschool drop off to the office. Listeners were calling in with their opinions of the show - most indignant because none of the ladies actually lives in Atlanta, and because none of them live the typical life of a housewife. Meaning, of course, that Bravo chose not to profile the typical stay at home suburban mom whose days are filled with play dates, laundry, dishes, dinner, etc.

These calls got me thinking. Just what exactly is a real housewife today? Most of the women on the show have jobs, making them working mothers rather than true housewives. But, isn't the term working mother redundant? I certainly think so. Should we just throw these terms out with the bathwater?

To me, mother is a pretty powerful word in itself - one that I always put before terms like professional or full time. I'd be interested to hear your thoughts. What defines the term housewife to you? Is there even a generic description that can be cobbled together?

There are certainly a lot of websites devoted to housewives:

www.retro-housewife.com

www.thefashionablehousewife.com
(I imagine this is the one Bree Van DeCamp visits the most.)

www.hillbillyhousewife.com

www.mrshappyhousewife.com

www.geekyhousewife.com

Wikihow.com even offers these helpful tips in its "How To Be A Good Housewife" section. (Seriously, I am not making this up. Please note I write this with a tinge of sarcasm.)
* Be aware of what your man needs when he comes home.
* Maintaining your appearance, while not essential in being a housewife, does certainly help remind your husband (and yourself) that you are still a woman and not simply a housekeeper.
* Keep the house tidy and pleasant. There is no excuse for your man to come home to a mess, so make friends with your vacuum and feather duster.

It's comments like these that make me feel the need for a new definition of housewife is long overdue!

Please, someone go in and edit these pages!